Gray and Grizzled Food Fan

Best Mex on Lex: The Upper East Side’s New Top Taco

July 15, 2008

The Upper East Side has a new top taco, and it’s being served at The Burger One on Lexington between 79th and 80th. Hot, fresh and cheap carnitas, chicken and beef numbers are made to order with just the right blend of blistering green salsa, biting chopped onion and cooling cilantro. Half-wrapped in foil, they are astoundingly portable: I can eat two before I get to my stop at 77th and Lex and rarely spill more than a squirt’s worth of salsa on my Mountain Khakis. That said, these tasty tacos are even better at the counter.

When time permits and I can’t afford to Pollock another pair of pants, I grab a stool, watch a little Telemundo and listen to the cooks and countermen wrangle the exuberant stream of customers, most of whom are blue collar and almost all of whom are more comfortable conversing in Sunnyside Spanish than Quogue English. Taking a seat also gives me time to enjoy the great selection of Mexican beverages recently added to the menu, including Cane Sugar Cokes—no ethanol corn syrup American variety here—Jarritos fruit sodas and various house made Aguas Frescas.

After a year of steady visits, I can safely say this place isn’t going away any time soon. The once tentative and tiny taquería inside an old burger shop is now a full fledged Mexican lunch counter with a precise regional perspective. It knows what it can do well and it does it. Cooks happy to serve their own cuisine and clients happy to eat it have revitalized and repurposed a once stolid neighborhood restaurant and added a little pep to a still stolid neighborhood. I can only hope that this transformation is the start of a major trend in the area. Most every kitchen on the UES speaks Spanish; it’s about time some of the food did too.

Posted in Food, Yorkville | 10 Comments »

Sad and Skinny Spring for the Fat and Happy Food Slut

June 2, 2008

No time or money for great dining in the waning spring months, so I’m taking a break to recharge the batteries and budget. In short, Fat and Happy Food Slut is on hiatus until mid-July.

Posted in Food | 4 Comments »

Of Savory delights and Service Disasters: Solo Dining in the Cruelest Month

April 16, 2008

Springtime in New York is great for eating out but lousy for eating out alone. Outdoor seating is way too precious to leave half empty—everything’s at least a two top—and indoor seating is neglected by bartenders rediscovering the charms of nicotine breaks or nubile prep cooks. On an international tour of pork destination dining spots, a pair of favorites rewarded return visits even as a trio of others persuaded me never to return. In a surprise twist, Italy won twice while Malaysia, Spain and Korea fell way short.

FATTY CRAB

Fatty Crab in the midafternoon would perhaps be more aptly named Fat Blunt or Fat Roach. I don’t know if my server was smoking toad venom or the Chronic, but no one on the right side of Kubla Khan would call a dish of pork belly and watermelon the “Mecca of Pork.” He also probably wouldn’t tell a solo diner that “Fatty Crab rolls family style, so ordering for one will be tough…but you can stay….if you want.” Keep on rolling, buddy. Sorry for the buzzkill. If you don’t want my money, I don’t want to spend it.

BOQUERIA:

Airheaded server, arrogant owner and errant flavor combinations made for a disappointing first foray to the counter at Boqueria. The “bikini” sandwich—yes, the two piece swimsuit is also a grilled cheese in some languages—wedged an ill-advised mixture of cheeses and sun-dried tomatoes between a multi-grain bread that has never and should never grace a Spanish table. A hacked up ham plate did little to remedy the situation. Pressure to booze and dessert denial from pneumatic beertender put a bitter finish to a none too sweet meal. Gallic diffidence from paper-doodling owner Rochefort snuffed last bit of good will.

MOMOFUKU SSÄM and MOMOFUKU NOODLE BAR

I will not eat David Chang’s porky butt and buns. I will not eat David Chang’s green eggs or ham (former undercooked, latter mouldy). I will not eat at Noodle Bar or Ssäm. I will not be ripped off again and again. I’m done with the Happy Peachster until his prices approach sanity and consonance with the cheap setting and minimal service on offer at Ssäm and Bar .

During my last Noodle run, my prawns were well past gamey, my slow cooked eggs were simply undercooked (and vaguely chlorophyll colored) and my soft-serve ice cream had the texture if not the flavor of bung seepage. Similar experience at Ssäm. Hicky of a hangover from the crapulence of too much good food and drink fine. Bruising bout of nausea from bad food and brazen overpricing, not so fine. Ssäm and Noodle are too hip for this square. The would be Emperor of the East Village needs some clothes, quick.

FRANK PEPE’s PIZZA (NEW HAVEN)

Great view of coal oven and jovial highly caffeinated pie wranglers and servers added some noise in the early lunch hours. Whole white pie with monstrously fresh and juicy clams and and mozzarella reminded me what all the fuss was about. Cold glass of Long Trail was perfect foil. Sometimes the perfect wine pairing is a quick cheap beer: Whole meal was less than twenty dollars including twenty plus percent tip. Porky pepperoni to go was a pleasure for my return train meal on wheels. Gastrotourism in the Havens pizza belt sure beats Hamptons run to Nick & Tony’s!

OTTO

And back in the City for one more pie. Late afternoon counter eating was a people watcher’s delight. Drunken middle aged woman kissing bartender and exclaiming in Brooklyn French upon increasingly evident subtleties of her third quartino of rosé. Hipsters muttering and mulling over hip things hiply. A few random NYU professors in for a quick cacio e pepe and a quicker couple of cocktails. Finally, a bartender willing to hold to restaurant’s promise to restore any and everyone at the bar from unabashed boozers to teetotaling foodies. Price was high—almost fifty dollars for delicious lardo pizza, scalding and mediocre Lagrein quartino and a brilliantly redeeming ice cream confection—even for one, but I left feeling better than when I went in, and I left wanting to go back. The great places have no off hours or meals: When they’re open, they’re open with open arms. Otto’s on the list.

Posted in Overrated Foodie Finds, The Village | 7 Comments »

Centro Vinoteca: Burrell Steps Out of Batali’s Shadow and Into His Old Neighborhood.

March 5, 2008

Anne Burrell is still a mint love letter, beef cheek ravioli or lardo pizza short of a career-making signature dish, but she’s well on her way to creating a signature restaurant in the neighborhood that made Mario Batali a star with Pó. Below are a few high and lowlights from recent visits.

1) Lamb Ragú: Well-priced, polyphonic flavor bomb of a sauce on perfectly cooked pasta. No stunt ingredients, no hot or sour flavor tweaks. Just disciplined time-honored, ingredient-honoring low and slow technique. Can’t wait to try the boar version.

2) Chicken Liver Paté: Generous flavors, generous size, low cost for kitchen and client. Taste and nose are deeply earthy—good barnyard, not Missouri manure pond—but it’s a dish that needs to be shared. Don’t go solo unless you like mid-afternoon fat sweats. Deviled eggs are also worthwhile, though not as surprising as when they hit the menu at Blue Smoke a few years ago. A rumpus room favorite from Midwest childhood.

3) Quartinos: Fun idea but arguably a bit pricey, and inexcusably a bit warm, especially the reds. I love sun in the glass, just not sun on the glass. Also, servers need not break the flow of conversation and courses by darting about refilling wine glasses from these diminutive little containers. Even the most uncoordinated of drunkards can self-pour from tiny-tyke Sippee Cup serving vessels.

4) Centro Vinoteca’s Meat Balls: Biggest (Flavored) of Them All

Grilled up at lunch time and sandwiched between bread that’s just about texturally perfect, the savory lamb treats will make the afternoon nap that much sweeter. No finer ground globes of meat in City at moment.

5) Cappuccino Panna Cotta: Texture is dead on, flavors are harmonious, portion size is irresponsible and perfect. Here chocolate covered coffee beans are delightful grace note rather than the usual gratuitous garnish.

Further advice:

1) Rinse carefully after eating the panna cotta. I forgot to and went to a meeting looking like a Skoal Bandit had exploded in my mouth.

2) Don’t waste cab fare on the overpriced grappa pairing. Otto’s offerings are more fun and a heck of a lot cheaper. Alto’s are more refined and about the same price.

Posted in Lads Who Lunch, The Village | 4 Comments »

C-CAP Benefit 2008: A Taster’s Digest

February 28, 2008

Revolution and Sterno were in the air at the tenth annual C-CAP benefit as sweet beat out savory for the first time in half a decade. In another surprise turn, the once ubiquitous soup shooter was nowhere to be seen. Tuna and lemon (from Meyer to regular to -grass) were the new favorite ingredients, while pork bellies, truffles and foie took a well deserved rest from center stage. Below are a few highlights from this year’s offerings.

1. Blue Hill: Pork Part Petits Fours

A ganache of pork offal purée rolled in cocoa nibs and sandwiched between Mexican-spiced chocolate crisps. Sounded awful, tasted great. Reminiscent but not derivative of Wylie Dufresne’s now classic foie, anchovy, cocoa nib creation from a few years back. Added points for creating a single-serving portable portion on a night when so many chefs favored plates better suited to sharing amongst a seated threesome.

2. Dovetail: Rabbit terrine and kumquat skewers

After Fraser’s 2007 foie and Rice Krispy masterpiece, I knew his stars (had two, has three) were on the rise. This year’s rabbit terrine on a skewer confirmed it. Loved witty allusion to 2006 C-CAP (Year of the Kumquat) in fruit accompaniment. Kudoes as well for producing plateless dish easy to carry and fun to eat. Skewers also good for poking people dithering in front of Craft dessert station.

3. Craft: Caramelized banana tatin and malted milk ice cream

Butter, sugar, banana, milk alchemy. Everything elevated comfort food is supposed to be, especially on a typically cold C-CAP benefit night. Speed and consistency with which DeMasco turned out toaster tatins were a reproach to all of us with small kitchens: It’s not the equipment; it’s the cook. For the record, I only “doubled down” the first time chef offered…and the second time her back was turned.

4. Four Seasons NY: Lobster saltimbocca

“Saltimbocca” was taken literally at this highly interactive station: They just about put the generous chunk of lobster in your mouth while ladling the sauce with it. Souvenir chin drips of sage-infused brown butter were delicious and blotted from face only after spousal reprimand.

5. Town: Squash parfait

Kabocha squash interleaved with goose mousse and set against blood orange emulsion renewed my faith in foam and kept the foie for fatty liver’s amazing versatility. John Johnson makes the best composed cheese plate in New York. Little did I know he could produce similar wonders with an unsung winter vegetable.

OTHER NOTABLE NOSHES

Felidia: Burrata and asparagus

I love the burrata’s delicacy and the spike of spring flavors from the delicate asparagus spears. On a side note, Chef Fortunata Nicotra should win a chef’s award for trying the most dishes by his colleagues. I was in line with him at half a dozen stations and saw him at a dozen more.

Aretsky’s Patroon: Steak tartare

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide with steak tartare. Everything must be right and everything was. Peet pulled it off again this year in a perfect bite size (canapé, mezze, tapa, you name it) portion. Went well with the night’s red wine selection.

Aureole: Lemongrass yogurt and passion fruit tapioca

C-CAP superstars Rachel Lansang and Amar Santana delivered again this year. Sweet-sour balance was pitch-perfect on the palate. Tastier and less baroque than the tapioca pearl masterpieces by Claudia Fleming at the North Fork Table & Inn and Pichet Ong at Spice Market, this tightly edited creation left my tongue so perked up that I made another run at the savories.

Gotham: Alaskan king crab risotto with assorted delicious things

Hard to get texture and temp right with risotto in a crowded room over Sterno. Portale’s team nailed it. Only gripe was horizontal nature of plate. I had high hopes for a signature vertical creation. Pleasure wasn’t lacking, just more gustatory than visual.

Posted in Favorite 5 Lists | 5 Comments »

Restaurant Daniel’s Enduring Charms

February 25, 2008

Like an ever-expanding collection of Barbie dolls, Daniel Boulud now offers himself dressed up in Restaurant, Café, Bistro and Bar outfits. While the 2008 model’s pulp fiction menu of blood, guts and feet en gelée has its peculiar appeals, I think I’ll stick with the easier non-violent charms of the grande old dame. Here are a few reasons why.

1) Danny Meyer’s brother from another mother: Starting with the name, it’s hard not to see a bit of Danny Meyer in Restaurant Daniel. Hugs both virtual and real begin at the door, continue at the coat check, follow you down the stairs to the bathroom and sweep you back out to your town car at the end of an evening. This is as warm, reasonable and democratic a four-star as you’ll get in New York, both the most French—Lyon not Paris—and the most American—St. Louis not New York.

2) Liberty, fraternity and equality on the wine list: If “Subway” is a restaurant or means of transportation you make use of often, then you’ll be pleased to know that no one’s blocking the door to your enjoying a glass or bottle on this revolutionarily (French) democratic list. I was stunned by the number of bottles under fifty dollars and by the lengthy selection of half-bottles at a variety of price points. Easy to explore and hard not to.

3) Keeping the faith for foie gras: Despite the crise de foie in more craven establishments, Mr. Boulud continues to fight the good fight for God’s greatest goosely creation. On a recent visit, five different interpretations made eating one’s liver far more delicious and far less nutritious than mom intended.

4) Parting pleasures: Petits Fours are my favorite part of the meal: they are invariably delicious, and I rarely have to share them. Most people restrain themselves when feeling full, fat and drunk. I don’t let feelings get in the way. My most recent meal was no exception. Next time, however, I might cut back to a single serving of Marc as accompanying digestif. My car could have made it to the Major Deegan on the fumes alone.

Posted in Favorite 5 Lists | 3 Comments »

The Smith: Dull Name, Duller Food

February 18, 2008

If Candace Bushnell is your preferred author of erotica and Miracle Whip your favorite condiment, then by all means, crunch on through the Smith’s hipster candy coating and sink your Redi-Brite teeth into its kindergarten comfort food. Cisco on the stereo and Sysco on the plate are the orders of the day at this low cost high calorie TGIFriday’s wannabe. Below are five of the high and low lights

1) Convivial packed house: Fun to visit a winner, sad to see that this wins

When every table is full, and every seat at the bar is taken, and everyone has had a drink or three, it’s hard to argue that a restaurant isn’t on to something. Then again, by that logic the Olive Garden managers in Paramus and Natick should be tenured professors at Cornell’s hotel school.

2) Mac and Cheese: A greasy smear of textureless pap

The overheated hype surrounding the Smith’s flavorless fat bomb smacks of lazy food writing swiped from press releases. Nothing for mind or mouth to chew on.

3) Tasty Potato chips and Blue Cheese Sauce: Thanks Blue Smoke

A step up on airplane snack food, a step down from Blue Smoke’s far superior version.

4) Dumbed down desserts are dumb: Saccharine isn’t sweet

The peanut brittle, caramel and ice cream sundae proves sometimes too much is too much. A chocolatey pint of stout is a better option in dessert fare and a deal at five dollars.

5) Bargains at the Bar: Reasonable Draught and Wine List

The wine list is spartanly described—grapes only, no producers or vintages—but well selected for by the glass ordering. Familiar pinots (blanc, noir, etc) are balanced by marginally exotic malbec and almost interesting torrontés and riesling. Same idea for beer.

Conclusion: If Disney made a Brooklyn hipster restaurant for Epcot, this would be the Universal Studios knockoff.

Posted in Food | 7 Comments »

The Harrison at the Crossroads: Last Supper Before Freitag Takes the Toque

January 8, 2008

Sometimes I fear I was born too late for a good meal in New York. I arrived at Country as Doug Psaltis headed out, at Parea as Michael Symon closed shop and at Gramercy Tavern as Tom Colicchio was selling his interest. That said, Michael Anthony reinvigorated Gramercy’s dated menu and proved a restaurant need not lose its soul in a shift from rustic to refined cuisine. So I hold out hope as I watch the Harrison go in the opposite direction, with hearty Italian to be the new idiom under Amanda Freitag and the refined French-American of Brian Bistrong to be a thing of the past. For curiosity’s sake, I took in one last supper before the transition. Here are a few high and low points of my visit.

1) Warm Service: They have you at hello and cradle you through to the outsized tip you can’t help but leave. Good hosts, better servers. Highly trained in the hard skills of waiting, they also have the emotional antennae for the subtle stuff, like when to talk up a table and when to fade into the background. A couple of key adjustments to right the meal, including reconceiving a dish on the fly when the sauce proved unappealing, and pacing the dessert and after-dinner drinks just right, closed out the night as well as it was opened.

2) Warm Space: On a recent snowy night, the interior of rustic wood floors and cabinets, artful food displays and visible cooking flames pulled me into the room and made me want to stay until spring time, especially when cabs were so hard to come by. Only thing missing from haute tavern look was an haute tavern smell. Great feel, great light.

3) Warm Wine: Warmth is great in servers and decor; it’s no fun at all in a bottle of red. The wine stored on shelves in the main dining room is precisely the temperature of the room—and that’s no good for white, pink or red. Either throw in mulling spices or cool the bottles down ten degrees.

4) Cool Wine List: Lovely stemware, thoughtful selection advice and intuitive wine service—no aggressive topping off, no empties either—made me want to return for further explorations. Particularly strong in rare, reasonable and spicy Austrians—yes, they exist. It’s hard to blow more than 100 dollars on a bottle and it’s even harder to make a bad choice. I used to take Shake Shack’s list as a starting point for summer wine buying for picnic fare; I think the Harrison’s will work equally well for dressed up winter dinner parties.

5) Uncool Bathroom Behavior: I love a booze-soaked bacchanalia as much as the next self-indulgent sybarite, but is anyone ever really so drunk at a deal dinner as to need to pee in the sink when a urinal is, literally, steps away? A hard-partying bespoke type staggered in ahead of me from the basement’s private event space and let fly with a jeroboam of indescribables. Fortunately, a small batch bourbon restored my spirits before I headed out into the night. Let’s hope Freitag’s rustic Italian fare adds some refinement to the downstairs guests, and keeps some refinement on the upstairs tables.

Coda: I don’t comment much on the food in this entry as it’s not likely to be around much longer. My experience on this night was that conception outstripped execution from start to finish. Dishes often sounded better than they tasted, particularly the biscuits with razor clams, chorizo and gravy. I’d had a wonderful razor clam-chorizo dish at the Slanted Door a few months earlier and perhaps came into the Harrison with overly high hopes. The expected contrast of flavors and textures was lost under the taste-deadening glutinous gravy. Similar problems afflicted the unbalanced funk of the spaetzle. In sum, at the end of an era and start of a brief but cold winter, the back—but not the front—of house team might benefit from some new blood.

Posted in Tribeca | 8 Comments »

Trestle on Tenth: Alpine Pleasures below the High Line

December 6, 2007

I hadn’t been to Switzerland in a while, so last week I decided to go to Siberia, in other words, 24th and 10th, in Chelsea. Over in those nether reaches of Western Manhattan I found the best Swiss wine selection in the City and some of its best Swiss food. Better still, I didn’t feel like a third-class colonial subaltern beaten senseless by European currency exchange rates.

I also found further hope that the Children of Danny (Meyer) will keep on going out to spread the word. Having thoroughly enjoyed such Meyer-inspired restaurants as Hearth and Spigolo at the opposite Manhattan antipodes of Yorkville and the East Village, I was pleased to see the magic in effect in Chelsea as well. Of course, it helps that Chef Ralf Kuettel’s wife, Juliette Pope, is close to the source: She’s the reigning beverage genius at Gramercy Tavern.

Below are the high and lowlights of a recent meal at Trestle:

1) Pizokle: Fun to say, delicious to eat. If St. Bernards switched out their little barrels of booze for a hot bowl of Pizokle, the slopes would be safe at any temp. This cheesy spaetzle-like dish is super-rich, super-pungent and just about perfect this time of year.

2) Budget Booze Cruise: Adventure, value and focus are everywhere on the wine and spirits list, even if a red Rhône was served closer to mulling temp than might be advisable for anyone not seated right in the gulfstream path by the front door. After dinner drinks are fun—and intentionally warming—especially, the bourbons.

3) The Rarest of Birds, Perfect Roast Chicken: Textbook perfection and great control of temp, moisture and texture made this afterthought a standout. Crystalline consomme was a lovely little tour de force of technique. This dish, just as Trestle does it, should be on all the culinary schools’ exit exams.

4) Pork Crépinette: Everyone talks it up. Everyone’s right. This cabbage wrapped pig patty is as tasty as it is ugly. Easy to share, if you’re a generous sort. Easy to scarf if you’re not.

5) Glutton’s Salad: At this temple to all things adipose, even the greens are fatty in name if not in nature. Butter lettuce with buttermilk dressing and bacon chunks makes for a great closer to a meal. Good for the soul, bad for the arteries. Skip the desserts and grab a warming drink at the bar before heading home. It’s a long slog to the subway and there’s nary a St. Bernard to save you if you slip.

Posted in Food | 4 Comments »

No Country for this Old Man: Why I’ll Stick to Town

November 26, 2007

Complementing the name and cuisine of Town Restaurant with Country Restaurant was a great idea and a witty verbal play for Geoffrey Zakarian: Town&Country. However, after a recent visit to the latter, I’m pretty sure I won’t be jumping the ampersand anytime soon. The front of house under the recently departed Doug Psaltis just didn’t match the back, and until it does, there will be no return visits to Country for this Old Man. Here are a few “freebies” that explain why.

1) An hour of free time to cool my heels at the bar: “Your table is being re-set right now” would be a far more credible fib if it weren’t followed in sequence by “The party ahead of you is paying their check” and then “The party ahead of you has just started their desserts.” Hard even to imagine the unlikely chain of events that would lead a party to occupy our table as it was being re-set, request a check for a meal eaten elsewhere then order dessert. Could it be that they simply didn’t have a table ready? And why no complementary drink to unruffle feathers or at least a better time estimate so I could decide whether to order a cocktail?

2) A free White Burgundy bath at the table to wet them: The snippy server—think maitre d’ in “Ferris Bueller”—did little to end the nightmare. Rather, he made it worse. Among the egregious highlights, he cleared my part-full wine glass and inverted it table-side, dumping its contents onto the floor and my shoes: No cleanup and no replacement.

3) A free steam facial from plastic plate cover: The inordinate distance food must get frog-marched to make it from kitchen to table means everything arrives covered in condensation-fogged plastic lids. I know the restaurant is in a hotel, but Country table service shouldn’t feel like Ramada room service. Cold and soggy deep fried pickles that accompanied the “Sample in a Jar” steak tartare made for an ugly and unappetizing combo.

4) A free laugh courtesy of the wine list: Laughably expensive list given the relatively casual and reasonable food on offer in the Café. A surfeit of three and four digits wine selections suggests that the beverage director is confusing Burgerhounds with Burghounds. Danny Meyer’s story about the Union Square Café customer ordering a 12-dollar tuna burger and a 1200-dollar bottle of wine is meant for a laugh not for a business model.

Posted in Overrated Foodie Finds | 3 Comments »