The Smith: Dull Name, Duller Food

If Candace Bushnell is your preferred author of erotica and Miracle Whip your favorite condiment, then by all means, crunch on through the Smith’s hipster candy coating and sink your Redi-Brite teeth into its kindergarten comfort food.  Cisco on the stereo and Sysco on the plate are the orders of the day at this low cost high calorie TGIFriday’s wannabe.  Below are five of the high and low lights

1) Convivial packed house:  Fun to visit a winner, sad to see that this wins 

When every table is full, and every seat at the bar is taken, and everyone has had a drink or three, it’s hard to argue that a restaurant isn’t on to something.  Then again, by that logic the Olive Garden managers in Paramus and Natick should be tenured professors at Cornell’s hotel school.

2) Mac and Cheese: A greasy smear of  textureless pap

The overheated hype surrounding the Smith’s flavorless fat bomb smacks of lazy food writing swiped from press releases.  Nothing for mind or mouth to chew on.

3) Tasty Potato chips and Blue Cheese Sauce: Thanks Blue Smoke

A step up on airplane snack food, a step down from Blue Smoke’s far superior version.  

4)  Dumbed down desserts are dumb:  Saccharine isn’t sweet

The peanut brittle, caramel and ice cream sundae proves sometimes too much is too much. A chocolatey pint of stout is a better option in dessert fare and a deal at five dollars.

5) Bargains at the Bar: Reasonable Draught and Wine List

 The wine list is spartanly described—grapes only, no producers or vintages—but well selected for by the glass ordering.  Familiar pinots (blanc, noir, etc) are balanced by marginally exotic malbec and almost interesting torrontés and riesling.  Same idea for beer. 

 Conclusion:  If Disney made a Brooklyn hipster restaurant for Epcot, this would be the Universal Studios knockoff.  


7 Responses to “The Smith: Dull Name, Duller Food”

  1. Mike M Says:

    If Six Flags knocked off the Universal Studios knockoff, then you’d have the Smith.

  2. Food Fan Says:

    Tile floors, cheap close packed tables and stemware to shame Fish’s Eddy: this is straight out of the HoJo’s school of cost-cutting. And does anyone else realize how cheap skate is? Make it at home instead of dropping twenty bucks plus tip!

  3. Larry W Says:

    Glad to see you’re back up and running FaHFS! Don’t take such a long hiatus next time.

  4. Pissed in Paramus Says:

    I thought you were a food slut not a food snob! At least we get unlimited bread sticks at the OG.

  5. Larry W Says:

    Neighborhood substitute for chain fare, yes. Destination dining, no.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    True, true and true!

  7. LES Larry Says:

    The Smith just had a positive write up in one of the free subway station dailies. Sketchy outlet, but at least someone’s happy.

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