Gray and Grizzled Food Fan

1) Bacon cheese steak from Hoagie Haven: See separate post. This place is a food slut’s paradise. All the sandwiches are great, but the bacon cheese steak is the brightest star in the Havenly firmament.

2) Coffee ice cream shake at Halo Pub: Skip the fancy candy shops. This is all the sweet treat you’ll need during a day in Tigertown. Wood-panelled and tranquil, this makes for a great respite from hectic shopping, or summer heat. It’s also the organic dairy equivalent of Ritalin, if the little tiger cubs are acting up.

3) Green Enchiladas at Mexican Village II: A bit off the map. A better Mexican generalist restaurant than one would expect in Princeton. Great enchiladas in green sauce. Genuine blissed-out warmth towards students in a town that does little to embrace the undergrads. Perhaps a hint of resin in the mole? Would fit in well in Madison or Boulder. Nearby liquor store has world-class collection of malt beverages.

4) Fish and chips at Triumph: Fried fun in a cone. Served in sophisticated rig that keeps hands clean and food hot and crisp, this is the perfect pairing to a flight of micro-brews.
N.B. Bartenders can’t conceive that people might actually be from Midwest. Have seen several valid driver’s licenses get nixed here.

5) Salt bagel with cream cheese from Abel Bagel: Owner’s fortunes have been up and down, but his bagels never bite. Just the right size for a morning meal. Perfect with coffee, grapefruit juice, Times and mild hangover.

A few more for the road: Favorite combinations.

1) Wawa: Wa dog with everything on it. Pint of Chubby Hubby.

2) Lahiere’s: Beef tournedoes at Lahiere’s Wine selected and paid for by friend’s franco/oeno-phile parents.

3) Alchemist & Barrister: Pupu platter.  Promise of second-round interview from tipsy McKinsey rep.

4) PJ’s Pancakes: Tall stack. Short line.

5) Tap Room at the Nassau Inn: Cigar. Any whiskey not sold by the flask.

6) Small World: Large iced coffee. Barista with good enough short-term memory to remember your blueberry muffin as well.

Jersey food snobs may bicker over which exit claims the greatest temple of haute cuisine–the Ryland Inn and the Frog and the Peach each have their partisans–but any right-minded eater knows that Princeton’s Hoagie Haven is the tri-state’s greatest all-American eatery. For the uninitiated, here’s an all-day dining adventure to acquaint you with the menu.

1) 8 AM: You’ve just driven in from the last cheap Route 1 motel in shooting distance. You’re hungry and half-asleep. Turn the day around with a bell pepper and cheese omelette on a toasted hoagie. So much better than the Wa’s bagel sandwiches or even an Egg McMuffin. Consider adding a side of morning fries. Fat-crisped potatoes know no night or day! Tropicana OJ to drink.

2) 11:25 AM: Return for a first lunch of grilled cheese. Bite through the salty crust and let oozing provelone spill forth in its purest form. Well adapted to ambulatory eating. Admit that your shirt is now grease-stained. Accept that you are powerless over provelone and enjoy your sandwich while you look for a good picnic setting, or while waiting for your cold hoagie (see below).

3) 11:30: Cold Italian hoagie for second lunch. You’ll want a cold sandwich for picnicking purposes. It’ll holdup better and be more refreshing in the sunshine than a hot cheese steak. Make sure to add vinegar and oil, as well as spices. Perfect for a walk to Lake Carnegie or even Cannon Green or huddle in the shadows of what was once Olden Street’s greatest temple of burn-out Tiger life.

4) 3:30 PM: Take advantage of this off hour for a rice pudding snack. A light, relatively nutritious and stomach-settling treat. Baby food, but good baby food. Staff at the Haven will recognize you by now and appreciate your commitment to all-day dining.

4.5) 3:35-12:59: Enjoy beverage options on campus or in-town. In-town there’s the Ivy Inn for the truly lost day time drinker. The Annex and Triumph are better bets, as are the Nassau Inn and the Alchemist&Barrister.

5) 1AM: End a long night and begin a new day with a bacon cheese steak. Ask for extra cheese, extra bacon, extra hot peppers, extra ketchup and extra spices. This is the Mid-Atlantic’s greatest sandwich and should be ordered with all the aforementioned “extra”s. Sit outside the Haven on a bench and savor the masterpiece bite by bite. Rehydrate with large bottle of (root) beer and watch the hungry masses huddle up for their piece of the dream.